Category: Star Wars Musings

All posts relating to the Star Wars franchsise.

The Pizza Head Show On Star Wars

Part of a series of skits featuring Pizza Head, a slice of pizza with a face on it and former pitchman of Pizza Hut. Its relevance in the tag involves cross-promotion with the release of the Star Wars Trilogy Special Editions released in theaters that year.

This should make a comeback as it’d be cool with the kids today.

The Lucas Speech From 1988

Several days ago, I posted a quote from George Lucas that came from a statement he made before US Congress in 1988 opposing colorization of old films. Digging a little deeper, I discovered the full transcript of that script. Special thanks to the Save Star Wars site for putting this up, along with a rather good reading article surrounding this now-ironic speech. The site in general has a number of interesting reads if you’re willing to take the time. Definitely worth checking out, especially if you’re opposed to the ten million changes made to the trilogy.

Check it out here.

He Said That?!

“People who alter or destroy works of art and our cultural heritage for profit or as an exercise of power are barbarians, and if the laws of the United States continue to condone this behavior, history will surely classify us as a barbaric society. In the future it will become even easier for old negatives to become lost and be “replaced” by new altered negatives. This would be a great loss to our society. Our cultural history must not be allowed to be rewritten. Attention should be paid to this question of our soul, and not simply to accounting procedures. Attention should be paid to the interest of those who are yet unborn, who should be able to see this generation as it saw itself, and the past generation as it saw itself.”

George Lucas, from a statement made before US Congress opposing colorization of old black and white movies…

Yes… THAT George Lucas.

Oh, the irony…

New Format For Star Wars… MORE Changes…

It has become apparent over the years that George Lucas likes to spite the fans who complain about the constant changes to the Star Wars saga (especially the original trilogy) every time that series is introduced on a new format.

Case in point, the Star Wars Blu Ray release that’s coming in September.

More changes have been made to the original trilogy (and some to the prequels)… including blinking Ewoks designed to scare people into horror beyond imagination, a CGI Yoda to replace the puppet Yoda in Phantom Menace (a chance that kinda, sorta makes sense, but goddamn, the puppet displayed more acting range than the CGI model), and of course, the most infamous changes and the one that’s been getting the most venom since Greedo shooting first in 1997…

They added the Noooo to the throne scene.

You see, it makes sense to add the Noooo because they think the audience is stupid (fuck you, Rick Berman! oh wait…) and won’t get the subtle build to Vader’s redemption… or something.

The sad thing is that it comes off as an amateurish dub job rather than… something.

Yep, thank god I didn’t upgrade to Blu-Ray. Say YES to Betamax!

TO TOP IT OFF…
The countless reviews over at Amazon.com for this set (a set that has YET TO BE RELEASED!) is downright hysterical. Mostly one-star reviews bashing the set, with the few five-star “reviews” being nothing more than spiteful people telling other spiteful people to quit their whining because they haven’t seen the final product yet.

People, news flash for you… STOP YOUR WHINING!

The people bashing this Blu-Ray release haven’t seen the movie. The people bashing the people bashing this release haven’t seen the final product either. I think it’s downright ridiculous that something that isn’t even out yet is up for review. Wait until it comes out and then bash/praise it. You’re all looking like idiots here!

Review #018 – Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (Atari 2600)

(2025 Update: New video upload.)

The review is a bit of an anomaly, as the video footage is a couple years old, the text review used as the basis for the script was written last year, and the audio being a couple months old when I initially put the review together. But still, it went together rather nicely.

By the way, exactly  one year ago, I posted my first video review for Track & Field for the NES. Pure coincidence, I swear.

Review #015 – Star Wars Rebel Assault II: The Hidden Empire (PSX)

(2025 Update: Replaced the old Youtube embed with a slightly less old Dailymotion embed that was eventually replaced with a newer than new Youtube upload that I’m shocked made it through in one piece. Featuring a new title card and some considerable edits here and there, including the restoration of an old intro from when this review was originally intended as a Halloween upload. Despite these changes, it’s still the same old review that is outdated and superseded by a new one in 2012.)

An Alternative Menace

Gather around kids, I’m gonna tell a little story here.

So once upon a time, there was a kid named Anakin. He fixed things.

Then some old guy found him and saw something special in him.
Anakin went on to win a race and went with the old guy to train in the ways of midichlorians.
But the old Masters didn’t want to train Anakin because he was too old.
The old man sighed and brought Anakin back to the slave planet.
Anakin and his mother reunited, were bought by a man name Cliegg, and they all moved to Mos Eisley where they lived happily ever after… well, at least until the Tusken Raiders came along and raided the home, killing everyone within.
Meanwhile, the old Masters were defeated by a senator named Palpatine.
Palpatine was supposedly a master of the dark midichlorians…
But really, he was the smartest guy in the room.
And that’s why Palpatine won… because everyone else was stupid.
The End.