Author: dtm666

I ramble about things.

Useless Post For The Day

“I love writing this blog. You know why? Because none of you ever comments on it. I know you’re reading it. The hits register. You just have nothing to say.”

The above quote is from the recent issue of the new Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man comic series. And it sort of applies to this blog. Actually no. If you haven’t comment on any of my posts, it’s either because you do have nothing to say, you’re not reading, or because commenting is turned off.

The girl in the comic probably should have checked to see if her commenting function is active. Maybe she’d get more comments… Oh well.

Legend has it that a year consists of 365 days (mostly) and that if I had posted at least once a year, I’d be nailing more posts than I currently have. Of course, most of my posts would be probably be akin to something like this:

“Nothing interesting happened today.”

Then again, it’s only the morning… but there’s a reason I’m not updating a hi5 or myspace, which I do have but never use.

And I gotta go.

Power Rangers Dino Thunder: The Will To Live – PART 5

During the events of the classic Dino Thunder episode “Fighting Spirit,” Dr. Tommy Oliver had proven his will to live was stronger than any Ranger power. But when he suddenly passes out and is on the verge of death, will it be enough? Or has he been living on borrowed time?

Disclaimer: The author would like to clarify that Power Rangers and its characters is owned by BVS Entertainment and not the author.

Continue reading “Power Rangers Dino Thunder: The Will To Live – PART 5”

WARRIOR. GOLDBERG. TEE EHN EH.

Apparently some people have had problems getting access to the Blog. Truthfully speaking, so have I. I don’t know what the problem is, but the fact that I’m posting and you’re reading means that whatever was wrong has been resolved.

Since I AM here for the moment, I’ve decided to comment on a few things of random nature.

As much as I don’t want to include any references to that so-called self-destructive former wrestler and current motivational speaker whom everyone hates, I can’t help but comment on Warrior’s recent post, where he entertains the idea of TNA signing both himself and Goldberg to let them beat the crap out of each other, thereby creating tons of heat and money.

Not to sound pessimistic (or realistic, whichever you choose), but the last high-profile Warrior match (Halloween Havoc 1998 vs. Hollywood Hogan) was really, really bad… so bad that I almost swore off watching WCW PPVs. Also, the last high-profile Goldberg match (Wrestlemania 20 vs. Brock Lesnar) was filled with audience hatred and malice towards both guys… although it was probably due to the fact that both guys were leaving and that the audience were New Yorkers and would boo a poodle if they had the chance.

Having said all that, I would entertain the idea of a match-up between these two on a TNA PPV. It’ll probably make the usual 0.9 buyrate that most PPVs from the company makes. Intensity and charisma aside, these guys are older and in Warrior’s case, hasn’t been an active wrestler in years. If the match ends up being something watchable (as in extremely short, where both guys work best), it would be a modern-day miracle at best.

Strange purchase story: I’ve picked up a used copy of Capcom vs. SNK 2 for my X-Box. For some reason, though, the game came with the instruction manual for the GAMECUBE version. Go figure.

Gotta go. Later.

Power Rangers Dino Thunder: The Will To Live – PART 4

During the events of the classic Dino Thunder episode “Fighting Spirit,” Dr. Tommy Oliver had proven his will to live was stronger than any Ranger power. But when he suddenly passes out and is on the verge of death, will it be enough? Or has he been living on borrowed time?

Disclaimer: The author would like to clarify that Power Rangers and its characters is owned by BVS Entertainment and not the author.

Continue reading “Power Rangers Dino Thunder: The Will To Live – PART 4”

ENTERPRISE: These Aren’t The Voyages (You’re Looking For)

Six months after the mission was cancelled, former captain Archer takes matters into his own hands and enlists some unexpected help.

This is a sequel to my “Too Hot For Fanfiction.Net” parody fanfic, These Were The Voyages. I may have another one in me if I can find the time.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek, not me.

Continue reading “ENTERPRISE: These Aren’t The Voyages (You’re Looking For)”

Eddie-Sploitation: Because Necrophilia Just Wasn’t Low Enough

Yeah, it’s been a week but last week’s headache was painful and took a while to go away. Now I’m back to my regularly depressive self instead of sick. Probably just as well, because I probably would have written something a little more intense than what’s here.

So I’ve been watching last week’s WWE Smackdown episode (which I regularly tape for my cousin, who doesn’t have The Score or UPN networks) and once again bore witness to yet another mindfuck of stupidity from the WWE braintrust… something about Eddie being in hell or something. Now I don’t know about you, but I sort of expected this kind of behavior… not like I’m some kind of expert or anything. No doubt people watching the incident are appalled that they would stoop to such a low level.

You know what? I’m not upset… I’m not upset that they went that direction because I would have been surprised if they hadn’t dragged Eddie’s name to the mud further than they already have. So no, this doesn’t particularly upset me. What does upset me is the knowledge that all of these tasteless gimmicks and creative brainfarts are doing nothing but cheapening a very real, very tragic death of a man well-respected and well-liked by many of his peers and fans. It’s one thing to exploit a death of a fictional character and call it entertainment. It’s another to exploit the death of a real person and drag his name into the mud for the purpose of getting the big rating.

Randy Orton is currently a generic heel whose value has been crippled thanks to one-sided feuds with Triple H and Undertaker over the past couple years. It’s almost a shame that, to make him more hated, he’d have to resort to defaming Eddie. That sort of shows how great a heel he is… as in not great at all. It all shows a quick effortless shortcut to getting cheap heat. Given a good storyline and good matches that play on his strengths, Randy may very well build a legacy of his own and be one of the greats. As of now, he’s just a guy who’s getting cheap heat bashing a respected wrestler who passed on for real.

Just to steer aside for a moment… Another thing that seems to be raising havoc are the Tim White skits featured on WWE.com. For those who haven’t witnessed these yet, these are short, five-minute clips featuring former referee Tim White attempting to commit suicide and failing. The clips are supposed to be funny, but in reality they’re too stupid to be funny… try asking someone who has had loved ones commit suicide if those skits are funny. These morbid exercises in line-hopping and dumb skits are part of the reason why I don’t watch as much modern-day wrestling as I used to… or much TV for that matter, but I digress.

Now according to spoilers, Randy’s degredation of Eddie’s good name continues. I’ll probably post follow-up comments tomorrow or something when the show airs later tonight.

The Suicidal Chronicles Of WWE Referee Tim white

Tim White was a moderately successful WWF referee who had officiated some classic bouts (on both ends of the stick) until a shoulder injury ended his career while officiating a Triple H match. Mr. White shortly retired after, but the match had caused him so much turmoil that his entire family left him and turned their backs on him. Now alone with only the Friendly Tap bar as his drinking buddy, poor Mr. White has had enough.

One day, on a WWE PPV during an interview with Josh Matthews, Mr. White pulled out a shotgun and attempted to shoot himself, but he dropped the gun and shot his toe instead.

Some time later, Mr. White tried digesting rat poison, but the brand had proven to be ineffective against humans (hence the reason it’s called rat poison) and so Mr. White survived.

Mr. White tried to hang himself, but fortunately the rope broke. Mr. White even miraculously survived an attempt to die via dropping a plugged toaster into a bathtub that he was in.

Recently, Mr. White went for the old fashioned method of killing one’s self: slitting his own wrist. Despite the gruesome depiction shown on WWE.com, we have the utmost confidence that Mr. White will survive this latest brush with death and cornball sports-entertainment angles that don’t entertain that well… which explains why they’re ONLY on WWE.com.

You just CAN’T make this shit up, folks.

The sad and most disconcerting thing about all this is that eight-nine years ago, during the Attitude era of sex, drugs, and generic rock music, Vince once said there’d be no guns and knives – even shirts bearing this credo were sold at the time. Somehow, I seem to be the only one who remembers that little quip.