For the past couple years, James Rolfe has been going to E3 along with the Screwattack crew and had partaken in some videos covering the event.
This year, a decision was made to have James Rolfe do a couple quick E3 videos… as the Angry Video Game Nerd.
God shoot me.
Here are a few quips:
“I’m surrounded by electronic video games. I didn’t even know they still made video games.” You know, I think James Rolfe is an exceptional entertainer at times, but that has to be one of the stupidest lines I’ve ever heard. Really? You didn’t know they still make video games? This is bordering IG-levels of incomptence.
So he shows off the line for the Nintendo 3DS and whines about how he’s not standing in line. Not yet… I think he’s on cruise control with this. At least when Screwattack showed off the long-ass line to try out the Wii a few years back, it was mildly entertaining. But the Nerd just points to a crowd and whines about not wanting to wait… What’s the point?
He shows off Donkey Kong Country Returns… which is actually the first time I’ve heard of it. And from what I can tell, it looks really nice and similar in style to the SNES games of old… but much cleaner and more vibrant.
“Since when did Diddy Kong use a fucking jetpack?” What does it matter? Since when did Mario wear a Penguin suit?
The last one he played was Donkey Kong 64… yeah, so? That was my last one too before the series turned to Mario-Minis and Kongo Bongo games.
“Does anybody know what a Skyward Sword is?” Um… yeah. It’s a sword… that’s skyward.
The Nerd would like to see a dark grim-and-gritty Zelda game… at this point, I would like to kick his head in. The urge is rising. You know, Hudson and Konami tried that with Bomberman a few years back and that game was FUCKING HORRIBLE.
Kirby: Epic Yarn… wow, now that’s a rather neat concept, judging from the screenshots. But why spend 20 seconds on the damn name? Are you kidding me? Really? Ladies and Gentleman, we have dipped far below IG-levels of stupidity… I mean, that barrier has been penetrated. Un-fucking-believable.
And that’s just Day 1. I tried watching his other two E3 videos and I just want to shoot myself after doing so. This is absolutely horrendous. Pure donkey shit is what I’d call it. Unbelievable.
You want an entertaining E3 overview? Check out Classic Game Room. Mark does awesome stuff… and has unhealthy obsessions with Cosmic Carnage and flamethrowers… but I actually enjoyed that.
Okay, okay… it should be noted that in addition to the AVGNE3 Trilogy of Shit, James also appeared in a couple of the Screwattack recap videos where he appears as himself and not the Nerd persona. Why he couldn’t have done this (be himself and not the fucking overrated Nerd) with the GT videos – I don’t know… maybe it was a GT decision. Still kinda stupid.
But yeah… Classic Game Room.
dtm666 