Classic Bite Commentary #49 – September 16th, 2004

2014 Fun Fact: This would be the last Bite commentary I would write for quite some time until 2006 when I decided to revive the feature for a later iteration of the DTM Webstation. It is entirely possible that the Bite was quietly retired due to more frequent posting on the original DTM Blog.

Anyway, much like before, current-day thoughts and reflections are in brackets and bold.

Oh Good GOD! It has been way too long since I wrote one of these babies. But yes, your eyes are not deceiving you. Your computer isn’t playing tricks. This is NOT a typo. This is FRESH. This is NEW. This is… me, ranting on a single page rather than on the Blog! It’s been some time since I wrote the Bite (and I’m suffering from sinuses already – fucking Quebec environment), but let’s see if we can keep up.

Actually, since the opening of Redux (Redux was the name of the latest version of DTM Webstation), I have neglected this space for some time (and will continue to do so). Even the blog doesn’t get as much updates as I would have hoped, but things have been pretty hectic lately. At this point (or rather as I write this), I’m awaiting the legal paperwork so I can get a trade diploma and get a job. But enough of my problems. Let’s get on with some quick rants and opinions.

If you haven’t heard, you’re brain dead. But the Star Wars Trilogy (the good ones, not the prequel crap) have finally made the anti-dramatic jump to DVD. Why do I say anti-dramatic? Because I have access to a DVD recorder and can easily copy the original ’77 editions and the ’97 editions onto DVD ;). Seriously though, people seem to be complaining that George Lucas has once again tweaked the films for the DVD versions with subtle changes, which have since been confirmed. It’s funny because I stumbled onto a message board where people were chastising Lucas for tweaking his first film THX 1138 (some scenes were digitally enhanced or expanded via CGI) because the tweaks compromise the artistic integrity of his film.

My standing is… get over it. We may not like that Lucas changes his movies around and disregards previous versions, but in the end, they’re his movies and he’s fit to do whatever he pleases. These changes to the Trilogy are only minor and doesn’t seem to damage the integrity of the story. Regardless of what physical and visual changes have been made, they are the same movies. The only worst thing that could happen if he were to shoot remake versions of the Holy Trilogy and disregard the originals… I mean, COME ON! GREEDO DOESN’T SHOOT FIRST ANYMORE FOR LUKE’S SAKE AND YOU’RE STILL NOT FORCIN’ HAPPY?!! Fucking ingrates. Anyway, I’ll see it when it comes out and then I’ll see if my position stands then.

I like the originals; they were really riveting. And the Special Editions were the closest thing, for me, to being able to watch the trilogy on the big screen, as intended. So I’m kinda split on the issue.

Just a bit of trivia here: about ten years ago, they re-released the original trilogy with re-mastered sound quality and it was advertised that it would be the LAST time the trilogy would be released in their original versions. And this was LONG before plans for a special edition trilogy was in the works. Quite frankly, I’m surprised a lot of people seemed to have forgotten that little-known fact. (So did Lucasfilm, as the original versions would be re-released on DVD in limited edition formats – albeit as special features for the DVD versions and nowhere near as good of a quality, but I can’t complain.)

You people are complaining now, I can’t wait until the ULTIMATE EDITIONS come out in a few scant years… (Do the Blu-Rays count?)

While we’re on the subject of movies, I saw the new Punisher movie (not to be confused with the old Dolph crap – the less said, the better). Not the greatest flick I’ve ever seen, but still a pretty decent movie. It’s got more in common with the Garth Ennis-written miniseries than it does the old books, but who’s complaining? And before you have to ask, Kevin Nash indeed played the Russian. He was clean-shaven and he was walking fine past five minutes. If you don’t get that line, it refers to an incident in 2002, when Kevin Nash was walking across the ring and two steps later, injured his leg. While that injury took him out for months (on his return match no less), it absolutely reeked of hilarity that I made a quib about in the Phaker Rangers story, which no one noticed until today. Here’s the quib in question:

Red Ranger and Red Phakers were the more evenly matched. Each one of their attacks were either blocked or countered by the other. After a minute of stalemate, Red Phaker decided to rush towards Red Ranger, who summoned his Power Sword. But before the Phaker could proceed, he tripped, favoring his right leg.

“Argh!” Phaker cried out, “My leg!”

Almost hesitantly, Rocky walked slowly towards the Phaker. As soon as he was within a meter of the Phaker, his ‘clone’ disappeared in a huff of smoke. Rocky looked both ways, shrugged, and walked slowly away from the spot where the Phaker disappeared from.

(Yes, that whole segment of fanfic was inspired by Kevin Nash tearing his quad.)

A couple of weeks ago, DinoThunder featured the return of Tommy, the White Ranger, the Green Ranger, the Red Ranger, Saba, the Dragon Dagger, and a sturdier shield for the Green Ranger in the “Fighting Spirit” episode. Any episode that involves Tommy getting his ass kicked is an episode I’d wholeheartedly recommend!

(This also debuted the silver-streak Green Ranger helmet that has since been featured in new MMPR promotional materials such as the DVD sets.)

Speaking of recommendations, I picked up a DVD of Destroy All Monsters, one of those Godzilla flicks from the sixties. The movie was tons of fun, with hammy voice-acting and good monster fights. The DVD itself, however, is poorly produced… if you can call it that. Not only is there no Japanese track or subtitles, but there’s no extras, no menu… NO CHAPTER SELECTION! You have to actually fast-forward or rewind manually! After experiencing this, I will never complain about barebone DVDs ever again.

Well, that’s it. Not much in terms of a big return, I suppose. However, it felt good to be doing one of these again, especially since they help me take my mind off pressures. Anyway, here’s hoping that a new Bite commentary will be posted next month. Until then…DTM

(Next month? Nah, try next year.)

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