Yes, kids. After what seems like an eternity, I have finally updated this quaint little website. And yes, I have provided another quaint little commentary for you to read. It has been a long time since the last time I wrote this… almost a month, but that could only mean a longer, juicier commentary for you.
As it stands, we’re about nine days away from what should be an intriguing Wrestlemania 19 and in terms of top-tier quality matches (that may fail to deliver! hee! hee!), this one is plentiful. Austin vs. Rock in their probably final encounter – can the Rock finally beat Steve Austin at a Wrestlemania despite being able to beat him anywhere else? McMahon vs. Hogan – will Hulkamania continue to run wild and make me puke or will Vince-A-Mania take ’em down? Lesnar vs. Angle – who will come out on top between two former amateur wrestlers? Will Kurt Angle even survive the encounter? Booker T vs. Triple H – will the Book become a six-time, six-time, six-time, six-time, six-time, six-time World Heavyweight Champion (wiggles hand) or will the Great Heat Killer known as Triple H squash again? Jericho vs. HBK – will Shawn Michaels triumph over the King of the World or will Jericho retired the man Bret loves to hate? So many questions… What’s the point of pushing the fact that Wrestlemania is four hours long? As Scott Keith of 411mania.Com would say, SMELL THE BUYRATES!!!
You’ve probably heard Kurt Angle has a severe neck injury that may require surgery, hence putting him out of action for about a year. Then you know what he and Brock Lesnar had a “match” on Smackdown, where many speculated he’d drop the strap to Brock and get the surgery. Of course, that didn’t happen and the match is still on for ‘Mania. While that would be wonderful news, you have to realize how this is going to work, with Kurt’s injured neck and all. In a recent article, Kurt said that there are chances of paralysis and even death going into this match with that neck of his. Is it really worth it, Kurt? Is it really worth putting not only your career, but also your life, on the line for one final payoff? Kurt seems to think so… whether you love the guy or simply want to knock his ass on the ground, you can’t tell me that you don’t respect the man. If people don’t get a classic match from Angle and Lesnar, it wouldn’t be a big deal. I just hope that Angle survives the encounter to fight another day.
Smackdown continues to impress with their high-quality wrestling while Raw continues to depress with their high-quality boring sessions. In all honesty, I cannot find anything enjoyable on Raw anymore that it makes me yearn for WCW. That is not a good sign. Vince’s ship continues to sink as we head down the road to Wrestlemania, which will be a bumpy one whether our friends (sarcasm) at WWE want to admit it or not. Right now, there are high expectations for Wrestlemania, but we’ll have to wait and see if WWE can deliver the goods. Besides, if Hulk Hogan jobs to Vince McMahon, it will certainly make my day. At least we won’t have to see the washed-up icon job his way to retirement in the long run.
If anyone saw RAW last night, Vince pushed this match between himself and Hulk Hogan further down the commode by showing the stupid contract signing that did nothing but piss me off. I don’t even watch Smackdown anymore because there’s no viable reason for me to do so. Then there was Kurt Angle’s apology scene… this is stupid. What’s the point of putting Smackdown stuff on RAW?! Especially since there’s another episode of Smackdown left to promote the match of two old guys and the match of one steroid-ridden wrestler and one crippled guy… But I’m not the “genius” that Vincent Kennedy McMahon is, now am I? Especially since I’m hitting 5.x in Promotion Wars around this time, while he’s hitting 3s… I must be doing something wrong to get ratings that high.
While we’re on the subject of washed-up “icons” here, I am getting sick and tired of seeing reports about Bill Goldberg apparently signing a deal with WWE. Every time some breaks this out as news, it ends up being that Goldberg and WWE are always “this close” to signing or have differences. Am I the only one who thinks signing Goldberg is a bad idea? Look at Scott Steiner right now. Everyone was saying about how signing Big Poppa Pump would help WWE’s woes or how he would add a little gusto to the main event picture… but right now, after two lousy PPV performances, the guy’s doing fuck all. The returns of Stone Cold and The Rock hasn’t had much of an effect on the ratings. What gives anyone the impression that Bill Goldberg is going to be able or be willing to save the company from its current rut?
I think the main problem with WWE is that now there’s two different brands and therefore, audiences aren’t obligated to watch the other show because their favorite wrestlers are on one brand and show instead of two. Then again, the ratings were spiraling down even after WCW’s untimely demise.
NWA-TNA have their share of big names, but aren’t exactly using them in hopes of getting bigger box office. It’s the younger, fresh talent they find on the independents or, to a certain extent, talent that have been given the boot by WWE that will bring the company to prominence. I didn’t see the inagural show just so I can witness Ken Shamrock’s NWA title win. It’s those other guys I want to see that could provide an alternate to the stale sports entertainment that WWE is offering.
And by the way, I wouldn’t call Kevin Kelly’s WWE departure a “huge” firing. Idiots.
Enough about wrestling. I’ll probably
Some people seem diluted when it comes to Power Rangers Ninja Storm. They claim that the show is the best incarnation of the Power Rangers franchise. Then again, they say that with every new incarnation that occurs during the year. Okay, maybe Turbo is the sole exception, but that’s not the point. At times, watching an episode of Ninja Storm is a throwback to the old days of MMPR, thanks to the dialogue… until I realize that MMPR had better dialogue than this. I will admit that the visual aspect is good (it is hard to tell the footage apart), but if that’s reasoning for claiming it was the better version, not good enough. Power Rangers In Space, even though I’m not fond of it, was the franchise’s best series because it had a good story and pretty much brought a closure to around six years worth of storylines. It had a decent cast, decent effects, and an awesome finale.
Perhaps I’m being hard on Disney’s first true Power Rangers show, since it’s still early in its run. I’m hoping that Doug Sloan realizes that the franchise has grown out of the MMPR stigma and steers this series in the right direction. Then again, I’m hoping Hogan retires 4 Life and that hasn’t happened yet either.
Just recently, I read an article online concerning Ninja Storm and a look back at the Power Rangers franchise. The article pretty much bitches about the overall lack of humor and its closeness to the original Sentai plots. Ann Austen and Doug Sloan left PR duties due to creative differences around 1996. Why? Because Saban actually wanted to improve the product by steering away from bland templates and implemented character development and storylines? It’s not as funny as it used to be, but there is some light humor… although if you ask me, I think the guy who wrote this thing misses Bulk & Skull.
In another laughable comment, the article claims that the Ninja Storm teens actually resemble real teenagers. I’m sorry, but there is NO way that teens talk like that… especially not in this age. There is NO way that real-life teenagers are as dimwitted as those portrayed on Ninja Storm. The argument used by Doug Sloan is that when kids are asked who their favorite Ranger is, they’ll never mention the civilian identity. They’ll always say “I like the Red Ranger” or “The Blue Ranger is the best ever” or something to that effect. “But you can’t have Superman without Clark Kent.” he says. He’s right on that count, but on the other hand, Clark Kent is the only Superman and never gets swapped with some other guy a year later.
Power Rangers didn’t lose popularity in 96 because it didn’t have identifiable characters. It lost popularity because it was essentially the same product that was introduced in 93. Back then, if you asked a kid who his favorite Power Ranger was, chances are he’ll say “The Green Ranger” because he was the man. When Tommy got axed, a kiddie revolt occurred and Tommy was brought back. Tommy left again and returned as the White Ranger. Tommy is the greatest Power Ranger ever, according to kids. According to Doug Sloan, kids could identify with Tommy.
So why did kids lose interest in the franchise? The answer is simple: despite relationships with Pink Rangers and a dark, troubled guy, Tommy was still a guy who did good hiyahs and was still a guy with long hair. The character evolved but didn’t change much of his mannerisms. So now, Tommy gets his ticket to La-La-Land, but the kiddies don’t do another revolt… and why is that? Because Tommy’s old and kids can’t stand him anymore.
Don’t forget that Power Rangers has a new cast every year – kids can’t identify with the civilian identity of a Power Ranger because that civilian identity isn’t a long-term deal. Only older fans above the demographic would tell you that the Zeo Rangers are the best Rangers or that Carter guy from Lightspeed Rescue is a pansie. Getting back to the Superman analogy, where have you heard a kid say that his favorite superhero was Clark Kent? Or a kid saying that Bruce Wayne will kick Peter Parker’s ass in a street fight? Then again, kids around here play Playstation games better than most of us do.
The point I’m trying to make is this. Kids these days are far more smarter than the kids that first watched Power Rangers back in 93. The franchise has evolved and kids that have followed the series since the beginning are older. If Power Rangers wasn’t really attracting much of an audience over the past few years, the franchise would be long dead and I wouldn’t be writing this long, burnt-out gibberish. If Sloan and Austen want to see the series embraced by kids, they’re going to have to provide something that appeals to them. Quite frankly, having to hear outdated slang, overdose of humor (and not even properly executed), and poorly thought-out plot twists is not going to get the job done.
Just for the sake of argument, next year’s incarnation should be called Power Rangers YU-GI-OH FORCE!!! Ha Ha Ha Ha! Die! Dustin, Die!!! Blam! BLAM! DIE YOU YELLOW PIECE OF SHIT!!!! BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!! HA!!! WHERE’S WALDO NOW?!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
You see? I went overboard with the unfunny humor. Now my ratings will tank… sigh.
Okay, people have been wondering why this site has been stagnant for some time up until recently. Well, some time ago, I had started work on a new Power Rangers fan-fiction story called The Weapon, which is a sequel of sorts to the Red Ranger reunion episode, Forever Red. For some time, people have been given decent reviews. Right now, there are seven chapters up. I may upload two or three more chapters this week, depending on my mood.
Because of this, planned work on the other two stories such as Plague and the MMPR/PRZ stuff has been put on hold indefinitely. I may get back to it, then again I may not.
Did anyone see the Children of Dune mini-series on Sci-Fi this past week? Great stuff. Did anyone see the Dune mini-series on DVD? More great stuff that prompted a sequel mini. Did anyone remember the Dune movie from an eternity ago? There’s a reason David Lynch (the movie’s director) didn’t make a sequel. Not even Sting could save this thing without The Police!
Riddle Me This: What’s worst than watching a Hulk Hogan match?
Answer: Watching Hulk Hogan’s first starring role in “No Holds Barred”
Actually, I haven’t gone as far as watch the movie. Yeah, I know. The anti-Hulk Hogan guy buying a Hulk Hogan movie. Seems strange, but at five bucks Canadian, I figure I had nothing to lose so.
Okay that’s all there is.
dtm666 